In the Shadow
Of Tightness...
One Hero Stretches Back.
You Either Die A Hero... Or Live Long Enough To Wear A Yoga Mat.
WHO IS MATMAN?
Who is this Guy? Where did He Come From?
All these questions remain unanswered - except one.
His Mission? Fighting the stiffness plaguing our streets.
It’s not about the costume, It’s not about the glory. It’s about justice — postural justice.
He's not here to save the world.
Just Your Lower Back.
My partner was ready to leave me because I made that old-man groaning noise every time I stood up.
Then Matman rolled into our backyard on a scooter with resistance bands like some kind of spandex-clad angel.
Now I can touch my toes AND feelings.
I saw this guy in a Batman suit with a yoga mat cape doing lunges in the park.
Naturally, I laughed.
Then he locked eyes with me, pointed, and shouted, “YOUR GLUTES ARE ASLEEP.”
Next thing I know, I’m in a deep pigeon pose questioning every life choice I’ve made since middle school PE.
10/10, would get humbled again.
I never called anyone. I was just complaining about my tight lower back out loud, and bam — Matman rolled out from behind a bush with a foam roller and whispered, “I heard your hips lie.”
He stretched me in silence for 12 minutes, nodded once, and disappeared into the mist.
No invoice. No trace.
Just loose hamstrings and a faint scent of Tiger Balm.
